She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
