I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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