I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
