hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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