I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
