how can u be prego again
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
