and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
