She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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