we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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