Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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