Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
