spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
