omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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