Umm I'm too high to move.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
