Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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