We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I FOUND THE LEGS
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
