It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm at about main and main street
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
