Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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