Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
