Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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