your thong is hanging out like whoa
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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