Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm just crazy horny about you
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
