he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize