Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
