I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
