My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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