plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
