I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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