first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
