So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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