u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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