to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it glows. i had to have it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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