No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
