Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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