i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
