Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
