you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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