I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
