i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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