i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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