Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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