hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
