yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
