I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there was a trapeze. enough said
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
