I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
