if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
