My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
