I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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