Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Vodka?
Forever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
