no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
