If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
