You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I need to calm my uterus...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
